Full

December 31, 2017September 25, 2018Leave a comment

Choosing a word for the year is not a new practice. Maybe it’s safer to say it’s a new fad. Regardless, I’m a believer. Here’s why: when chosen with care, as a result of submission and asking God to reveal what He wants to teach my heart, it can function as a spiritual barometer. It forces me to be really focused on one area. It gives me a centering point for prayer. I can ask myself, “how are you doing practicing or believing [word of the year]?” Am I resisting God or pushing in to Him?

2017 was my second year to claim a word. In 2016, my word was “worthy” because I wanted to see God as worthy of my affections, what He called worthy in the world/people around me, and how I am worthy as God’s beloved.

My word for 2017: full. Because I have Christ, my life lacks nothing. I chose it because so much of my 2016 prayer life had involved phrases like, “Help me be content with…” or “Why am I not…?” or “Why is everyone else….?” I would read verses about God’s gifts and while knowing the Word of God is True, I would have a hard time feeling it.

“No good thing does the Lord withhold from those who walk uprightly.” (Psalm 84:11)
“If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!” (Matthew 7:11)
“Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.” (James 1:17)

If I’m being quite honest, I felt like God was withholding things from me. I watched as friends received things I wanted. I watched as friends got their dream jobs. Got married. Traveled to cool places with their friends. Had (what looked like) effortless relationships with their families. And the list goes on.

I love what Chad Ashby shared in his article “Is God Keeping Something From You?” over on Desiring God. We make it three chapters into the Bible before we see people confused by God and convinced that God is withholding good from them. God gave Adam and Eve an entire garden and they wanted the one tree they couldn’t have. I would definitely recommend reading Ashby’s entire article, but here are two of my favorite excerpts:

“Look at your life. Is it possible that you’ve fallen for Satan’s oldest strategy against us? Are you fixated on the one thing God is withholding? Has the Serpent convinced you that God is actually wrong to keep something good from you? Is it possible that your life is really a garden full of fruitful trees, but you’re stuck on the one tree God won’t let you have now?”

“God withholds good things from us to teach us to treasure him above every good thing. When he refuses to give us the good thing we plead for, he is actually giving us something even greater: himself and his grace to us in Christ.”

When I got to the root of it, the only thing that can bring me complete, lasting satisfaction is God himself. What if I stopped trying to figure out why my life didn’t look like I thought it should, and instead started thanking God for what He had given me?

“For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.” (Ephesians 3:14-19)

Now let me get in front of one thing: moving to Greece did not automatically make my life more full. In a lot of ways, my life became a lot simpler. A big life change, such as I don’t know maybe moving half way around the world, can make your life feel more chaotic but when the dust settles, is still only a distraction.

Here are some questions I had to face over the last year that helped me practice seeing my life as “full.”

Do I believe that God is works for my good? (Romans 8:28)
Do I trust God’s timing is better than my own? (Proverbs 16:9)
Can God use suffering for good? (Romans 5:3-5)
Can loneliness contribute to fullness? (Luke 5:16; Hint: yes, it’s called solitude)
Is God’s presence what truly fills me up? (Ephesians 3:14-19)

One other way I practiced thanking God for my life being full is by recording a short video every day. Some days produced clips of groups of people together celebrating. Others were of still small moments I experienced by myself. As I watch this video (posted below) from the last year, I cannot help but stop and thank God for all that He has done and is doing in my life.

He is teaching me and meeting me here. My life lacks nothing because I have Jesus.

How full is your life?

Oh, and my word for 2018? Gentle. TBH, not very excited about it. But I trust Him to be a gentle teacher.

Prayer

October 31, 2017September 25, 2018Leave a comment

10…..9…..8…..

The mental countdown had begun.

7…..6…..

I could feel the grooves on the inside of my cheek from where I had been biting it for the last hour.

5…..4…..

I could hear the fast “thump thump thump” of my shoes echoing down the tiled hallway.

3…..

I swallowed hard. The lump was still there.

2…..

If I could just make it to the bathroom I could avoid the questions. But what if someone saw me before I left? Flushed. Wide-eyed. Panicked.

1…..

The click of the stall lock functioned like a marathon gun. The gates opened. My tears freely flowed down my face.

I would be lying if I said this was a one time occurrence.

I really wanted this month’s focus to be on prayer. I have been practicing praying in different ways (journaling, through song, praying Scripture, setting reminders, etc.) As we walk around campus, I’m praying for the people we pass and those we are about to meet. I’ve seen God answer very specific prayers as well as what it looks like to come before Him daily to lay it at the foot of the cross.

But I wasn’t expecting God to teach me about prayer through weakness. With every turn He has been reminding me that I am nothing without Him.

It’s really natural for me to pray for other people. I am so grateful for this! But it is hard for me to pray for myself. I don’t want to admit that anything is wrong.

There is nothing that will humble you faster than living in a foreign country.

I have learned that I have to prepare for battle. Or what feels like battle: Language class. Campus evangelism. The grocery store. Every time I step foot out my door the enemy is looking for opportunities to get a foothold.

Y’all. The enemy attacks hard. And if I’m being honest, he’s gotten the better of me a few times. BUT, he hasn’t won. I’ve started getting faster at acknowledging the lies I’m believing. I’ve started getting faster at remembering to pray against the enemy’s attacks.

Here are a few of the lies I’ve heard, what I’ve learned to pray, and truth that I choose to believe.

I am not enough.
God, remind me that you have a purpose for me.
For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them. (Ephesians 2:10)

I am a failure.
God, remind me that I am not earning your approval.
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love he predestined us for adoption to himself as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will,to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved. (Ephesians 1:3-6)

I am a lost cause.
God, remind me that you are making me more into your image.
Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. (James 1:2-4)

I am not as loved or effective as my teammates.
God, remind me that I get to celebrate my teammates and not be in competition with them. You are using all of us for your glory.
For as in one body we have many members, and the members do not all have the same function, so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another. Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them…(Romans 12:4-6)

I am defeated.
God, remind me that you restore.
Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light. (Matthew 11:28-30)

I have let God down.
God, remind me that your power is made perfect in weakness.
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. “Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” (2 Corinthians 12:9-10)

Prayer isn’t just an emergency flare. Prayer aligns our hearts with His’. I’ve noticed that as I pray more – for my friends, for injustices, for my own heart – I am comforted by His presence. There’s a familiarity that brings immense comfort…and as I spend more time with Him, I’m more in step with the Spirit.

If I wasn’t constantly faced with my weakness, I wouldn’t turn to Him.

Different

September 27, 2017September 25, 20182 Comments

She put down her fork and leaned in across the table. She sure had my attention. “Don’t forget this. Repeat this to yourself over and over: ‘Different is not bad. Different is just different.'”

It was purely by chance (aka- the grace of God) that I ran into this friend on one of my final days in the States. She has spent the better portion of her time since college traveling the world for humanitarian work or once-in-a-lifetime internship opportunities. You better believe I listened to every word she said…and especially what she deemed ‘unforgettable.’

Little did she know that God had practically written the word “different” in marquee letters in my journal the week before. August’s word and focus has been on not just tolerating, but celebrating different.

Living in a different culture has certainly challenged my mindset when I encounter the unfamiliar. I’m drawn to the similar. An American brand of shampoo, foods I can easily recognize, and my wardrobe for the year is essentially the same Old Navy shirt just in six colors. You get the idea.

I wish it stopped here. I wish my pattern of familiar things stopped with objects. But the (sorry for this, but there’s not a better word) sucky reality is that if I’m not careful, I treat people the same way.

Similar hobbies. Similar humor. Similar style. Similar beliefs.

It’s easier that way.

We’re not the same. No two humans are the exact same. I have said for years that I am thankful for this, and I still am, but I’m learning to practice it. I’m facing it head-on. Why is it hard for me to celebrate people with different giftings, interests, or backgrounds? Timothy Keller would say it is pride. And you know what, I’m going to have to agree with him on that.

I love (and also cringe…conviction) what Timothy Keller says in his book The Freedom of Self-Forgetfulness:

“True gospel-humily means I stop connecting every experience, every conversation, with myself. In fact, I stop thinking about myself. The freedom of self-forgetfulness. The blessed rest that only self-forgetfulness brings.”

And furthermore,

“The thing we would remember from meeting a truly gospel-humble person is how much they seemed to be totally interested in us. Because the essence of gospel-humility is not thinking more of myself or thinking less of myself, it is thinking of myself less.”

If my eyes are not on myself, I remember that we are the Body of Christ.

“Now there are varieties of gifts, but the same Spirit; and there are varieties of service, but the same Lord; and there are varieties of activities, but it is the same God who empowers them all in everyone. To each is given the manifestation of the Spirit for the common good.” 1 Cor 12:4-7

“There is one body and one Spirit––just as you were called to the one hope that belongs to your call––one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.” Ephesians 4:4-6

“There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.” Galatians 3:28

Suddenly, I’m not in competition against Different. I’m fighting for it. I need it. We need it.

Different doesn’t have to be scary. Different should exist. Different should be celebrated.

————————————–

Moving 6,000 miles away guaranteed some change to daily life. Knowing that I’ll be here for longer than a few weeks, I’ve tried to approach daily life with the mindset of “this is what I do now” by choosing to celebrate what’s different. Without further ado, here are a few of the differences I’ve encountered in my 2.5 weeks of Greece so far:

Cash is how you pay for everything. Bills, restaurant meals, shops. A good Greek memorizes ATM locations. The supermarket, IKEA, and H&M do accept cards though.
If you ask for a Coke, they think you’re asking for drugs.
Walking is the #1 form of transportation. I hit my 10,000 step goal every. single. day.
Meals:
- Breakfast: a pastry, cereal, toast…but no meat. Pick up a treat from the bakery on your way to work or eat at your house. According to one Greek friend, it is “weird” to eat breakfast at a restaurant and certainly not brunch.
- Lunch: anytime between 2-4pm. But not before 2. To eat earlier would again, be “weird.” Lunch is the family meal of the day so most schools release around 1 so that everyone can eat together. With the exception of restaurants and supermarkets, shops close down for “quiet hours” from 2-5:30.
- Dinner: 8pm is pushing it…so 9-11 would be more culturally acceptable. Most Greeks use this time to go out for drinks and munch on the free appetizers that are brought out.
- Coffee: consumed at all hours of the day. If you sit and drink it at a cafe (coffee shop), you’ll most likely get a complimentary treat.
When driving, do not turn right on red. Just don’t do it.
Motley’s is home to the greatest “cookies pasta” known to man. Here, pasta could describe one of three things: noodles, cakes, and something else that I can’t remember. All that’s worth remembering is that cookies pasta (cake) is the reason my jeans will need an expansion pack by the time I return to the States.
Motley’s is also home to a billion cats. I watched a cat straight up snatch an unattended sandwich quarter off a plate this afternoon. I have the video to prove it. The Greeks didn’t even flinch.
Pita gyros are manna in the modern form.
Greeks don’t know how to respond to the walking boot I wore at the beginning. They would literally stop in the middle of the street and stare. The Yayas (grandmas) were the most intrigued.
Toilet paper is not to be flushed.
Trash is taken to community bins located every couple of blocks.
I can walk to the lake any day that my heart desires. At the lake, there is a castle, incredible views of the mountains, and an abundance of waterfront cafes. Much to my hearts disgust, I discovered today that the lake is also home to a few snakes. Booooooo.
Greeks have cell phones, but they don’t use them like Americans do. Believe it or not, if they’re with other people, they’re not on their phones.
Your house is too warm? Open your windows. Our apartment has A/C units, but I have yet to turn it on. I love opening my windows every morning!
Everyone smokes. Ash trays are on pretty much every table. But surprisingly it’s only overwhelming in a few places.
Everyone might smoke, but only a few use deodorant.
What Americans call “Greek Salad” is just “Salad” here. Our Greek friends have gotten a good laugh out of us asking about the “Greek Salads.”
Marco Polo is the best app out there. Take that, 8 hour time difference.
Clothes dryers are totes not a thing here. Also, our washer is in Italian. 3 points to Sarah for navigating that one.
Hot showers can be taken approximately 30 min after turning on the hot water heater. Be sure to flip the breaker back though before showering to avoid electrocution.

Friendship

August 29, 2017September 25, 2018Leave a comment

The saying, “it takes a village” has never been truer. And let me just say that I have an incredible village.

I saw someone recommend a book called Messy Beautiful Friendship by Christine Hoover. After glancing at the table of contents I immediately purchased it. I’m the kind of person who continually has a list of books to read, so it was interesting that this one didn’t sit on the list for a few months before I decided to dive in.

Let me admit right here that it is going to be hard for me to not just copy her entire book below. You can thank Copyright laws for that one 😉 But really and truly I was so encouraged by her words. Over and over I just kept being reminded of how great of friends I have.

Here are some of the main takeaways I had from her book:

We need to ask for help. I love how Christine points out that “relying on the help of friends is one of the greatest catalysts for deepening friendship.”

We need others to remind us of Truth. Dietrich Bonhoeffer’s Life Together (go read it!!) says “the Christian needs another Christian who speaks God’s Word to him. He needs him again and again when he becomes uncertain and discouraged. And that also clarifies the goal of all Christian community: they meet one another as bringers of the message of salvation.”

We need to be faithful. And here’s the big one (thanks Christine): “The goal, ultimately, is faithfulness rather than friendship, but our faithfulness to God is evidenced by how we love others, and this love of others inevitably attracts people. Friendship is a happy by-product of faithfulness.”

Support raising has provided lots of opportunities and experiences. I’ve had to trust God to provide in ways that simply seem too impossible. I’ve quickly learned that I cannot do much of anything on my own. I’ve packed up and moved 31 times in 19 weeks. But I’ve also gotten to catch-up, reconnect, or meet y’all. Thank you for sharing your time with me! You have encouraged me in countless ways.

Romans 12:10 says “Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.” When we are seeking the good for others, we bless them immeasurably.

Whether you’ve prayed with and for me, opened your home to me, or taken me to lunch: thank you. Whether you’ve sent me a random text, listened to my tearful phone call, or shared a funny YouTube video with me: thank you. Whether you’ve simply sat with me, written me thoughtful notes, or pushed me in a wheelchair: thank you. You love me well. I am blessed immeasurably. You have reflected Christ to me and have been examples of selfless friends. You have shown me honor.

But there was one line specifically from Messy Beautiful Friendship that just really rang true for me right now: “And if you truly don’t have people yet because you’ve just moved to town or you’re in a new situation, go be the people for someone else.”

It’s time to be the people for Greeks.

Presence

July 27, 2017September 25, 20181 Comment

I have a love/hate relationship with my phone. I love that it helps me keep in contact with family and friends, but I hate that I can so quickly feel pulled away from a conversation because I can feel it ringing in my bag.

This past month I was on a trip where I had a few days with very limited cell phone coverage. I knew this going into the trip, and (not surprisingly) had mixed feelings about it. I don’t know if you’ve had time away from your phone before, but it’s both simultaneously exhilarating and alarming.

In one of the brief moments where I had a single ray of the glorious Wi-Fi, I expressed this tension to a friend. I was so used to the rhythm of going nonstop. My soul was also EXHAUSTED from this pace of life. There were still things I could (and should) be working on during the trip, but I also could not ignore the timing of it…the hope of being able to catch my breath.

My friend’s encouragement was simple: practice the presence.

As I read her words, something triggered in the back of my brain. Just three days before I had listed to a song five times over (not a joke), praying Psalm 16 to the chords of Shane and Shane:

My heart is glad and my soul rejoice
my flesh it dwells secure
because You put on flesh
lived a blameless life
my curse on the cross You bore
then You ripped the doors off the City of Death
and the chains fell to the floor
Now the serpent’s crushed
It has been finished
and You reign forever more

You are my portion my cup and you make my lot secure
the lines have fallen for me in pleasant places
a beautiful inheritance

in Your presence there is fullness of joy, of joy
at your right hand there are pleasures forevermore

Shane & Shane, Psalm 16 (Fullness of Joy)

My phone reminds me that there are always things that need to be done…people to talk to, bills that need to be paid, information to be gathered. Someone, something needs me.

Don’t get me wrong, there are lots of places I look for significance, but this past month I’ve tried to put it in productivity. What I’m really searching for is found elsewhere.

“You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.” – Psalm 16:11

I have to fight to be in His presence. And to be quite honest: that’s hard. I wish I could grasp this entirely and practice it effortlessly.

For me to be reminded of His presence, I most often need to stop what I’m doing and thinking and sit with him. And that feels very counter productive to my productivity mindset.

I’ve “practiced the presence” in a few different ways this month, making a conscious effort to step away from my phone and endless to-do list every time. I have a few I like to rotate through:

Going for a walk
Reading outside
Working out to worship music
Driving without the radio
Painting
Enjoying the quiet of the early morning or evening

When I sit with the Lord, I’m reminded of the first 10 verses of Psalm 16. Those verses proclaim who God is and what He has done for me and how I relate to Him. In Jesus is the fullness of joy and pleasures forevermore.

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